Pants 0. Shit 1.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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