Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
