Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she told me i tasted like america
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize