I must be too annoying 4 u.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
