Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
