im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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