It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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