You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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