38 yer olds are good kisserssss
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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