Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i would punch a child for taco bell
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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