He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
