I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
