You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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