My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
