She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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