Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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