Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
