were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
