Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
