you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
