i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Couch. On fire.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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