it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
