i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
