best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
