can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
