Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
