dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
