My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize