she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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