Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
whose parrot is this?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
