they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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