It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
