either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
