Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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