I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize