Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
