plz talk dirty to me
I smell stomach acid.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize