Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
