There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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