My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
