I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
