There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
