Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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