I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
