As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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