You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
