Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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