So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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