They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
