mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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