why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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