just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
