Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
how does that bad decision feel?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
