I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
