My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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