Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
