Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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