its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
