He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize