the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
