I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
being pregnant is like rehab
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize