i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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