i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
