So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
