I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
