the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're like the curious george of whores
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
