WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
