i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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