i was born a porn star she said
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize