So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize